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The Worst and Shortest Advice I Ever Gave

Published on May 27, 2012, by

This is another interesting case (in 2008) from a client, Sharon.

“I have been in a relationship for 10 months and I have health problems and deal with alot of emotional problems. This guy has a very busy life and he is also homeless so we have both these issues coming up in the relationship and it is very hard. He does work it is just not enough to get by on. And I don’t have alot of money because of the health issues.

“I wind up getting irritable and not accepting what he has to offer sometimes and he don’t accept mind I know when we are together it is great it is just when we are apart we argue when we are apart but when we are together it is great. Also because of my health problems I don’t get out of the house alot so I send way to many emails and he reads them at work. Now I think he dumped me he has not called in days and it was my birthday and he did not call me but he seen me the sunday before and was very nice and hung up a wreath I made him and he has not called me since and it is friday did he dump me?”

Since he is homeless a myriad of things could have happened to prevent him from contacting you. I’d like to think that after 10 months anyone (male or female) would have the courtesy to at least say in some form (spoken, written word) that it’s over rather then just go silent.

Would you be able to casually call his work and make sure he’s been coming in, not having called in or sick or anything? I wouldn’t want you calling and freaking anyone out.

If you are able to confirm that he is alive and well, but has chosen not to contact you for whatever reason…then count your lucky stars you found out now who he really is as a man. Take the lessons you’ve learned and carry on.

This is the best advice I could give her since she was pretty pessimistic, it was hard to even talk normally with her.

However, I hope she’s been fine now.


Are Men Seriously Obssesed with Women

Published on May 23, 2012, by

I recently received an email from one of my friends called Alina and I thought I could share some thoughts with you.

Following is the message…

“This might be trickest of all questions, atleast for me. My last question still remains unanswered to me. according to Moly were politically correct or beyond my understanding. From last fifteen years, me and my hubby were together. As a man he has many personalities each different from other one.
I should leave that for other time. Right now, we are happy being together. Its been for a short time after lots of fights, and counselling, and separtion. But again i can see those same signs, my hubby’s curiosity to talk or to find other women, texting, chatting and all. Let me clear, he shared with me an open site for video chatting with strangers. I didnt said nything. just let it go. In front of me, he chatted with some guy.

He says he is allways busy in his office, no time to relax, so much boundations on net using in office. This site was introduced by his friend (he is also in a commited relationship) He promised me to stay with me forever, for his love being mine only.

Then why he needs some stranger to have fun. As per physical terms, we both are open to any ideas, we both love being with each other.

Is this men tendency to keep a girl aside or what. I caught him so many times sharing adult content or chatting or texting with other females(those were happy times, before our fights). Same in case of my boss, his wife being priority to him, he allways said he loves me only. When my hubby left, i was in trauma, I had a vacant space inside me, which he occupied.

As a women yeah i allways wanted to have a steady partner, but what does men out there want?”

I think it’s good that her hubby has male friends he can spend time with online or in person. I think she should find herself a few good female friends to hang out with as well. Though they two have been married for 15 years, it is still wise to keep her own interests or hobbies. Sometimes what interests a woman, may not interest a guy and vice versa.

She also mentioned before that her partner’s cheated on her and has had women “friends” on line that I guess was sexual in nature? Personally, I think that’s wrong for him to do that, and am sorry that it seems he wants to do more on line stuff again.

That’s may also be kind of a sign of disrespect, not only to her but the marriage as well. It was his original behavior that opened the door to her current situation that she  is trying to resolve with our help. I just hope that after more counseling he can remember what’s important to him, and not go back to a destructive behavior for the marriage, in order to get along with her partner in the future and avoid committing the same mistake again.

Chatting openly with other men, sharing that with her may seem strange but if it works for him, then don’t fret about it, right?

Chatting with women, if he’s sharing that with you, then pay more attention to him, sit in on the chats if need be, talk to him about what you desire, what he desires, tell him that his chatting with other women bothers you, that you are working on and wanting to be close again and hopefully he and you both are willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen.

Finally, I’d like to share a great song for her – Love Never Dies



It’s All About the Choices We Made

Published on May 20, 2012, by

Recently a friend’s daughter has been dealing with some personal drama. She was dating a man who went to jail for domestic violence against his previous girlfriend. Then my friend’s daughter got pregnant by him (the baby is almost 2 years old), last November they got married.

The couple started fighting a lot. He was accusing her of having an affair, that my friend (grandma) wanted to take the baby away from him amongst other paranoid behavior. Well the past Monday he and his wife/child were driving home. He started in again on his wife accusing her of an affair. Rather then let it escalate she asked him to stop the car and she would walk home (hitchhike, it was quite distance)

When she got home, he and the baby weren’t there. 6 hours later after searching for them she and her dad came upon a bunch of cop cars.

Apparently her husband (with child in tow) thought it’d be a smart idea to get high (on something). He was so impaired that he drove off the road, down a small embankment and then back on the road. Luckily an off duty police officer was behind him and called for assistance.

Dad refused the breathalize (automatic DUI) and was charged with a felony….child endangerment as well as violating his probation. (read more here: http://www.imperfectparent.com/topics/2012/06/26/russian-mother-throws-her-children-out-the-window/)

Sadly his wife’s dad bailed him out of jail so she could go back to work (totally dysfunctional) and he could watch their son.

In the meantime my friend has been beating herself up over this, blaming herself for not teaching her daughter to make better choices and be more confident.

I told her that it wasn’t just her influence. That her daughter observed over her life how her dad treated mom, how grandparents interacted, friends, celebrities etc.

I had to bite my tongue and draw the line when I wanted to say….your daughter also is witness to your choices. You chose a man who was in jail twice, didn’t own or drive a car, and was proud to say “beer is my fuel” and was an alcoholic.

Now you put up with that, claiming that on other levels he was perfect for you, so your daughter followed suit probably thinking the same thing.

It did get me to recalling a choice I’ve made once in a man about 20 years ago and how my world (friends/family) influenced my choices.

There are some topics and even experience’s that are certainly worthy of a thousand words… This subject of choices I’m sharing may well be one of the many such metaphysical examples. But instead of words from me, let me share an article well laying out some several dating advice for women and offers a old image from a painting for your consideration. Should you choose to do so, share with us here what you think of it or see, share it also if you like with your lady friends.