Recently a friend’s daughter has been dealing with some personal drama. She was dating a man who went to jail for domestic violence against his previous girlfriend. Then my friend’s daughter got pregnant by him (the baby is almost 2 years old), last November they got married.
The couple started fighting a lot. He was accusing her of having an affair, that my friend (grandma) wanted to take the baby away from him amongst other paranoid behavior. Well the past Monday he and his wife/child were driving home. He started in again on his wife accusing her of an affair. Rather then let it escalate she asked him to stop the car and she would walk home (hitchhike, it was quite distance)
When she got home, he and the baby weren’t there. 6 hours later after searching for them she and her dad came upon a bunch of cop cars.
Apparently her husband (with child in tow) thought it’d be a smart idea to get high (on something). He was so impaired that he drove off the road, down a small embankment and then back on the road. Luckily an off duty police officer was behind him and called for assistance.
Dad refused the breathalize (automatic DUI) and was charged with a felony….child endangerment as well as violating his probation. (read more here: http://www.imperfectparent.com/topics/2012/06/26/russian-mother-throws-her-children-out-the-window/)
Sadly his wife’s dad bailed him out of jail so she could go back to work (totally dysfunctional) and he could watch their son.
In the meantime my friend has been beating herself up over this, blaming herself for not teaching her daughter to make better choices and be more confident.
I told her that it wasn’t just her influence. That her daughter observed over her life how her dad treated mom, how grandparents interacted, friends, celebrities etc.
I had to bite my tongue and draw the line when I wanted to say….your daughter also is witness to your choices. You chose a man who was in jail twice, didn’t own or drive a car, and was proud to say “beer is my fuel” and was an alcoholic.
Now you put up with that, claiming that on other levels he was perfect for you, so your daughter followed suit probably thinking the same thing.
It did get me to recalling a choice I’ve made once in a man about 20 years ago and how my world (friends/family) influenced my choices.
There are some topics and even experience’s that are certainly worthy of a thousand words… This subject of choices I’m sharing may well be one of the many such metaphysical examples. But instead of words from me, let me share an article well laying out some several dating advice for women and offers a old image from a painting for your consideration. Should you choose to do so, share with us here what you think of it or see, share it also if you like with your lady friends.