My two 9th graders are living with ex across the street who is super oppositional about everything. Not included me in the kids lives, compelled them to see me, or informed me when they get in trouble at school or, yes, even planning to move away to live with an older sibling! (plane tickets already purchased). This is my 15 year old daughter and my 15 year old adopted son. The son is a compulsive thief and I can’t allow him here anymore he would not stop stealing from me, my 17 year old son or even my youngest child who has a terminal brain disease. nice huh? He continues to steal from us coming here when his dad is here and I am at the grocery.
But this last time he returned the items. Next time he gets arrested. He’s a compulsive liar as well. Despite that he’s got some good points but thing is around my ex these two are convinced that i as he puts it kicked them to the curb threw them out. He does this to alienate them from me, which serves to help them believe that nothing is their fault (daughter was having “relations” with boyfriend in my house when I was home, I did not embarrass her but said hey here’s a list of some things you cant do. Either abide or your choice is to live with your father. She chose to go across the street.
Anyway last week my daughter was accused of being found on the school property twice with pot and a pipe and a couple mini cigar things. She claims it was someone else, the school claims the security monitor saw her with it but its their word against each others. This all happened last Wednesday. Her dad had changed the contact info at school so the only he was called not me so I didn’t know until I got a letter in the mail Friday. He had gone in to the school Thursday. Wednesday they had called the cops and filed a police report. I cant believe she wasn’t arrested with this. so i don’t believe the school. im not saying she wasn’t with someone who had the stuff or maybe she even had it herself- her dad says she had it near her on ground, principal says it was found wrapped in a sweater. Ok so where we are at is the school will not allow me to contact the security monitor. They will allow me to talk to the police officer but he only took the report not witnessed it.
I told them ok I guess I can get a lawyer. [I want to see the policy about this rule in writing. They flat out refuse to do anything about requests. My daughter has been assaulted at this school several times (battery) by a kid who goes there. There’s a police report. She didn’t go there for a long time a few months and then went back because i couldn’t get her into any other school. They were all full. And homeschooling is not an option for me anymore with her. This report in her school file will follow her the rest of high school and keep her from getting into a better school (private or charter) and might follow her into college. She could not get into the military if she chose to. Even though she wasnt arrested. If I had been the one called I would have taken her to the pedi and had her drug tested. Her dad did nothing but ask when she could go back to school. my son there failing, every report card is d and f and he’s skipping school so much hes in suspension every other week. The schools told him he wont be held back and he can just go to summer school. But when he gets to 12th grade to graduate he wont have enough credits. Like he cares about graduating? He wont make it that far. He will drop out and be on drugs by a year from now I bet you. I hate to say it. And there’s no family members who he can stay with to get his act together because hes stolen from too many of them.
I have been slowly packing as I organized some closets and i am trying like hell to move out of here. I asked my ex ok what do we do about the kids schooling next year? He’s a procrastinator does nothing about it makes excuses until by default it falls to someone else and then he bitches about it.
How on earth can divorced people get on the same page about the kids? I’ve tried counseling with him but all he does is use it an opportunity to make me look bad.
Legally I could make the kids move back here but i don’t want to do that. my son I couldn’t have back here. Don’t trust him. My daughter would be fine but i leave it up to her. Apparently she and her 20 year old sister and 25 year old sister have gotten together and purchased one way plane tickets for the two younger ones to go live with the older in another state.
The older one doesn’t talk to us at all. And really I have no desire to talk to her shes as hateful and abusive as my ex. Her husband is wonderful and I would talk with him. just an overview of what the plan is. that the girls even though they were free to do this with my 15 year old I don’t get. But my ex always treated the girls like the wife and like equals. I was the babysitter, cook, housekeeper, and sex toy. Nothing relationship wise.
I am firm as can possibly be about getting away from my ex. I won’t have any sort of life until I do!